My Grieving Process

The grieving process is something I have never had to deal with on such a personal and deep emotional level before.   There is nothing that can prepare you for the lost of a love one.  Sure, you can think about what if something happens. 

But it is not the same as if it actually happened.  I am talking from my own experience.  I am sure everyone has lost a love one before.  I personally have lost most all of my immediate family and is the last living sibling from my family.  Psychologically this has weighed on my heart like never before.  Losing my sister June 25 2019 was like losing a part of myself.  She is all I can think about in everything that I do. 

I have to be perfectly candid, it’s been hard to write, difficult to move forward, and the guilt that I feel for believing I could have been kinder, more thoughtful, more considerate, less selfish, and a better person to my sister while she was alive is tearing me apart. 

It’s been a little over a month since she has been gone and I am starting to realize I can live more vibrantly; I can become better with every new person I meet.  I guess losing someone you love is a process not of the lost but growth as well.  I have come to a realization that with experience we have in life it can either make us stronger and better for having gone through it or weaker and sickly.  It’s all about the perspective one will have. 

I say that because I am reminded that two people can go through the same exact ordeal and view them completely differently because of their perspective, views, experience, and opinions.  I choose to take this lost and bring about a positive out-come. 

Sure, it hurts, sure I missed my closest relative and best friend, motivator, and the person who have always believed in me no matter what.  I will continue to write as I do in my daily journals because I find it to be somewhat therapeutic and soothing.

 I want to thank you for reading my post and indulging in my thoughts.  My wish for you is to prosper in good health, happiness, and wealth.  Have a wonderful weekend.

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